Take Delight

I hesitate to write this blog post. But to explain why I must first tell you what I want to write.

Lately I have been learning quite a bit about God. I’ve been starting to really understand that God wants what is best for me. He has plans so much greater and more fulfilling than I could ever imagine for myself. He is a much better planner than I am. Heck! Not only is he a better planner, but he’s a much better dreamer! He desires things for me I can’t even desire for myself!

And I’ve really been learning that lately. I’ve also been thinking about the verse in Psalm 37, which states, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” In the past I’ve viewed that in a very selfish way! “Okay! As long as I read my Bible and be a good Christian and love God then God will give me whatever I want and ask Him for! Easy.” Well, I’ve begun to read it in a much more beautiful way. And I think a much more “correct” way. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. If you’re taking delight in something, what are you going to want? You’re going to want more of that thing. You’re going to start wanting what that thing or person wants.
Delight- Great pleasure.
Pleasure- A feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment.
Satisfaction- Fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs
Desires-A strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.
So. Take great [feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment] in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Let me point out a little key word here…. satisfaction.
Take great satisfaction in the Lord. That means He fulfills your wishes, expectations, and needs. He is all you need to be satisfied. When He is all you wish for, He will give you the desires of your heart. As you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give all of himself to you, as much as you can possibly desire, and not only that, but he places His desires for your life in your heart! When He is all you want, he puts His wants and desires for you IN your heart.

How incredible is that?? Especially when you know He wants the absolute best for you!
So stop worrying about what you want to go to college for. Stop worrying about what kind of career you want. Stop worrying about where you want to live. Stop worrying about what you want your future spouse to be like. Stop worrying about what car you want to drive. Stop worrying. Stop worrying, and start desiring God. Start praying that God would give you an unending desire to know Him more and more. Pray that He would reveal more of Himself to you. And through revealing more of himself to you, the desires HE has for your life will become your own desires for your life. Search the heart of God. Believe that He wants what’s best. Put your trust into action. It makes for a much more peaceful life and rested mind.

And this doesn’t mean don’t plan. I believe God wants us to plan. But as you desire and search the heart of God, see what you begin wanting for your life. I think most of the time it will be something that we can’t attain ourselves. Our world is a fan of “dreaming big!” But what if we dreamed big, understanding that God can do anything He wants? Understanding that He can orchestrate any encounter and situation He possibly wants for your life. He can get you where You want to go. I think that “dreams” are more than dreams. I think they are attainable goals when they are God driven desires.

Anyway, all that to say that lately I have been feeling very hopeful excited for my future. I have received a tiny bit of clarity regarding my future, and for that I rejoice! When I know that I am NOT supposed to do something, I know I’m getting closer to discovering what I AM supposed to do. So I will be glad for the peace God has given me, and continue to ask God to show me the next step. Now, why would I hesitate to write a blog post like this? Because last time I wrote about being filled with joy, the devil really got me down. I started having pity party after pity party, and for about a week I was just down in the dumps. And then one day I got sick of it, so I decided not to let him mess with me anymore. He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. It’s as simple as that. But I hesitated because it was a hard week or so. And I know that when I write things like this, the devil doesn’t like it and is going to try to get to me even more aggressively. But I trust that God wants to use what I have to say in someone’s life, and that is far more important.

God’s Gifts | Joy |

This weekend I was able to go to San Diego, to surprise my best friend who is going to PLNU. She knew her mom was coming to visit, but I was a complete surprise! I was scared she would have an idea that I was coming, but fortunately she had no idea! (:

Recently I have really been spending time in the Word, and as I read more and more, God puts the desire in me to read EVEN MORE. There is so much jam packed in the Bible, and I have so much to learn! In the past it’s been hard for me to sit down and read it. I’m not sure why. I knew that God would speak to me through it, and I knew that it would draw me closer to God, but I didn’t make the time for it. I would read a chapter here and there, but I wouldn’t REALLY read. This Book is so full of hope, it’s amazing. I can’t explain how God has just been blessing me with Joy. Every day is so worth living, and I just want to shake people! I want to shake them and tell them there’s something SO MUCH BETTER to HOPE for! Oh my goodness! God is so good! He loves us SO MUCH. He is passionate about captivating us with the awe and wonder of who He is.

In the past I have felt close to God through nature. Through tree’s and mountains, and just beautiful natural landscapes. And though I still see God’s love and majesty in those things, lately I’ve been learning a lot about His love through other people and through how we’re made. He has made us all so unique. He has given us all our own unique laugh, smile, sense of humor, eye color, smile lines, freckles, skin tone. He’s given us our own passions and interests. But what’s even cooler than that? He did it intentionally! HE LOVES MY LAUGH. He LOVES my freckles and white skin. There is nothing about any of us that He doesn’t love. He intentionally gave some people squinty eyes when they smile. He intentionally made some people tan easily. He intentionally gave us each our hair color. He intentionally made some of us outspoken and some of us reserved. He intentionally made some of us tall and some of us short.
He cares about EVERY detail of our life. Of our body. Of our DNA. Nothing goes unnoticed.

I’ve been feeling very loved through other people lately as well.
People I’ve just met, people I’ve known for years, and people I’ve known my whole life.
Each friendship I have is at the point that it is for a purpose. Everyone I’ve met has been intentional. God put me here on this earth at this specific time with these specific people.
With the people I see in the grocery store, with the people at my church, with the people I drive past every day, with the baristas at the coffee shops I visit, with the people who have been my acquaintances and are now my friends.

Nothing surprises Him. Isn’t that good news?? It is for me. Because in that, we can feel comfortable enough with Him to enter into His midst. To approach the throne room, and know that grace will cover us because of Jesus Christ.

A Short Ramble

God made us relational beings. He created us to long for human interaction.

And as I sit here, eating chinese food, watching some lame 90′s TV movie, I think about the days that I will be able to share a night like this with the God-fearing man I fall in love with. We would laugh at the ridiculous acting, and the predictable story line. Both knowing that the movie sucks, and both being okay with that.

Sometimes I wonder if people read this and see me as some desperate girl who wants a boyfriend. That is, in fact, quite the opposite of what I am trying to portray. I am absolutely in love with my Savior, and I trust God completely that when I am the woman I need to be, and my future husband is the man he needs to be, we will meet and God will orchestrate a beautiful love. I look forward to finding out who God wants me to spend the rest of my life with, and it crosses my mind quite often. In the meantime, I am working on my relationship with Jesus Christ before all else. Only then could I ever possibly be ready for a HUMAN relationship. God is perfect. I am not. And my future husband is not going to be perfect. So before I can be in a serious relationship with a human man, I must first take my relationship with God seriously. Think about it, if you can’t handle being in a responsible relationship with a perfect being, how could you ever handle being in a relationship with a non-perfect human being? It doesn’t make any sense.

The Awaken Project | Seeing God Work |

God is so incredible. He never bores me!

Lately I have seen God working in SO many ways, it’s amazing.

A couple weeks ago, I was approached about and given the opportunity to record a full length, professional quality, studio recorded album.  This has been such a huge longing of mine for the last few years. I’ve wanted so badly to be able to record the songs that I’ve written and have them, even if they were just for me to keep and have to show my kids one day. My heart has longed for it.
What great gifts He gives His children! My parents and I have been praying about it for a long time, and it’s so cool to see that He really does listen and want to give us the desires of our heart.

This week I asked my friend if he would be willing to record some banjo parts for a couple of my songs. He ended up not being able to, and I was feeling a little bummed and, let’s be honest, I was a bit irritated.  So I started thinking about it (and when I think, a lot of it tends to be out loud.) My Mom suggested maybe asking a girl that is the granddaughter of a lady that lives in the apartment complex where she works (did that make any sense?!) Anyway, so yesterday, this girls MOM ended up calling MY mom. Out of nowhere. WHAT? (Keep God’s awesome timing in mind.) So she talked to this mom about the fact that I need someone to play banjo for some songs. So they talked a bit and she told my mom that she would have her daughter get ahold of me. So I got a text last night from this girl, and I sent her my song, and she’s gonna be working to see what she can come up with. Oh… and did I mention that this girl won the title of Best Banjo Player in Arizona this year? Yeaaaa…. no big deal. God’s plans are always SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE! Anyway, I’m incredibly thankful and excited to have such a great artist come together and work with me on my album. I’m stoked.

Also, I am not going to go into detail about this one because it’s not my story to tell… but someone I’m very close to has had a hard time with the whole idea of tithing. This person began tithing about 2 months ago… and their checking account online was not matching up with what they had calculated in their checkbook. Their checking account has been hundreds of dollars ahead of what it should have been according to their checkbook since they started tithing. This person has tried to figure it out, and has come to the conclusion that God can multiply whatever he wants. It’s loaves of bread and fish. It’s the exact same thing! You give God what you have, and He does what He wants with it.

He is such a beautiful, faithful God!

OH! I’ve also been learning that we are to expect God to work. We are to expect results when we pray. I’ve been learning a lot about healing and that God still wants to use us to heal people. It’s not just a New Testament, Bible thing. We are His disciples and He lives in us.
Anyway, to make a… well, not so long story even shorter, my brother (he lives in ABQ, NM) called my Mom and let her know that he wasn’t feeling good. He was feeling major flu symptoms. I overheard this, and I told my mom to tell him “Tell him he’s going to feel better by morning, cause I’m gonna pray for him.”
I text him the next morning, and he was feeling SO MUCH better.
Dude.

You can’t tell me God isn’t good. And you can’t tell me God isn’t faithful.

Jesus is alive. 

| The Awaken Project | Favor

God’s favor for us is everywhere if we open our eyes to see it.

Yesterday morning I received a message from a man at my church. I got the message, and called him back that afternoon, only to leave a message for him. “Uh-oh. Here it goes.” Phone tag, I thought. Well fortunately, he called me back about 2 hours later and I was able to answer this time.

On sunday I played a new song for my church that I had written that week.  I had been thinking about making it a goal to have a new song written each time I am scheduled to play for the main service at my church, so I decided I’d do it. I feel like part of trusting that God gave me these abilities is acting on it, and actually allowing God to use the gift he gave me, whether I can accept the fact that he would allow me to have such an awesome gift  or not. People have told me my songs are amazing, they’ve told me they really speak to them. So I’m trusting that that’s true. ANYWAY.

I played this song, and then right after I sang I had to leave to drive down to Phoenix.

Well, the man from my church called me about the song. He said he absolutely loved it. He owns a recording studio, and he asked if I’d like to record it at no cost to me. He just wants to get the song out there. He said “it’s too good to only be shared at our church.”

What??

That is God’s favor. People don’t just do that. They don’t just offer time and use of their equipment like that. Especially when they normally schedule people who actually pay them money. God is good.

How has God showed you favor this week?

| The Awaken Project | End False Advertisements

So today has been a fantastic day. It hasn’t been out of the ordinary at all, but it’s pretty cool what you notice and appreciate when God is the center of your attention.

My puppies were getting low on food, so my mom asked me to go by PetSmart and pick some up on the way to drop her off at work. So I walked in, and the lady greeted me “Hello, welcome to PetSmart.” And I surprisingly resonded, “HELLoooOOOooo!”
Okay, since sounds don’t come through too well, let me paint you a mental picture. Imagine the best carnival in the whole world. With a sunny sky and a nice cool breeze, happy people everywhere, your favorite dance-in-your-bedroom-with-a-hairbrush-microphone song playing in the background. You’re having the time of your life as you eat the most delicious batch of cotton candy, and you’re worry free as you SKIP by smiling faces. Imagine this scenario- how would your “hello” come out?
Yep. That’s what it sounded like.
And immediately I thought, “Whoa Bethany. What was that?? And where did it COME from?? Maybe you should tune it down a little…”
And as quickly as I thought that, I then thought, “Wait a minute. Why would I want to tune it down? Forget it, I’m gonna be happy!”

So I went on smiling and making small talk to the employees. (Which, might I add, are NOT gentlemen! There I was picking up a huge bag of dog food, and there were 3 employee guys just standing there talking… Hello?! I’m little! This bag is BIG!)
Anywho, I thought about it later on… I have such a huge reason to be filled with joy. Why would I want to hide that? That’s the exact thing this world NEEDS! A Huge Reason to be filled with joy. All I was doing was running some errands, dropping my mom off at work, then heading to work myself. I had no “reason” to be so happy. It was an average day. But an average day with God is so much different than any ol’ average day without God. He gives me reason to be joyful. He is my hope. This life is meant to be so much more, and with Him, that’s exactly what it becomes. The little things matter. Saying a high-pitched-I’m-at-the-best-carnival-in-the-world kind of hello could be exactly what someone needs to hear in that moment.
God created us with the intention that we would be authentic. He is an authentic God. What you see is what you get. He is Who He Is. No ifs/ands or buts about it. He is love. He is forgiving. He is generous.  And when we partake in that love and forgiveness and generosity, the world gets a glimpse of who God is.

The world needs glimpses of the True God.
Too many people have been the recipient of “false advertisement” on God’s behalf.

Dude. If God could sue people for false advertisements….
There’d me a lot of churches “out of business.”
I am not excluding myself in this one either. I’m human- I mess up sometimes.
But really, when churches (and by churches I mean the people that make up the church) say they will love anyone who comes through those doors unconditionally, and then a guy walks in with a baseball cap on and they suggest that if he loved God he wouldn’t wear his hat in church…
that makes me want to cuss so freaking bad.
If you really loved God, you wouldn’t freaking care if people had hats on in church. You wouldn’t care if someone came in with tattoo’s covering his or her body. You wouldn’t care if they just came in to church from snorting crack. You would show them love.
Since when did Jesus die for you, but not for them? Since when did God give you grace, but not them?

I’m sorry, that was a tangent that was unnecessary for this post.
I just want to show people God’s love. I just want us Christians to be Followers of Christ. I want us to follow the ultimate expression of true, authentic love.

And this is not to say you have to be happy go lucky all the time. Life doesn’t work that way. Bad things happen. But you don’t have to be happy in order to love.

Jesus dined with prostitutes. I think it’s okay if a guy wears a baseball cap in “church.”

The Awaken Project | Creator > Creation |

Discovering God is an interesting concept. The fact that He has so many attributes that He can keep revealing new things about himself indefinitely…. it’s mind boggling. My poor little human mind can’t comprehend it all.

This week I went to the Grand Canyon. One of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, and it’s practically in my back yard. (Not literally, but compared to the rest of the world, being two hours away is nothing.) I’ve seen the canyon once before, but it’s still hard to comprehend how HUGE it is. It’s like my eyes just can’t grasp the greatness of it all. As I stood there in awe of what was before my eyes, a thought went through my head. “If this is so incredibly awe-inspiring, then how amazing is God?” How come it’s so easy to get caught up in the creation and not the creator?

I’m in a small group at my church and the book we were reading was talking about how, like a diamond, God has so many facets, that when you look at Him from different angles, there are qualities about God too numerous to count. Romans 4:8, speaking of angelic hosts surrounding heaven’s throne, reads, “Day and night they never stop saying: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.” The book goes on to say that these creatures are so utterly amazed by the One they worship, that they have no concern for their own existence, but instead they are enraptured in the pull of divine fascination. FOR TIME BEYOND TIME, they have been worshiping the Creator. There are SO many things to discover about God! How could my walk with Jesus ever get boring?

I am very easily amazed by creation. I think I feel closest to God when I see a beautiful landscape or sunset. Something natural that could only be created by God. Tall pines scream out the majesty of His name, the ocean portrays the vastness of His grace. A simple leaf gives a picture of His unique love for me.  Mountains proclaim His steadfastness. And to think that God is wonderful beyond all of His creation… that stopped me in my tracks.

I have much to learn.

…And We Will be Reassembled.

“I was raised up believing I was somehow unique
Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see
And now after some thinking, I’d say I’d rather be
A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me”
-Fleet Foxes

Everybody has a story. As I sit across from this cute old man at Starbucks, I imagine all the wisdom and advice he has to offer. I think of all sorts of stories he could have. I wonder if he has children, how many times he’s been in love, how many vehicles his now wrinkled hands have worked on. I wonder what he thinks of my generation, and what motivates him each day.

People are so beautiful, and one day I’ll be brave enough to sit down with someone I don’t know, and say please tell me your story. There are so many lives that we brush up against each day, but we don’t take the time to let their lives affect ours. And vice versa.

Let me fill you in- I love old people. Well, the cranky ones aren’t my favorite, but even then I wonder, “what’s happened in their life that has caused them to be SO cranky?” There has to be a reason. Nobody comes out of the womb hoping to be a crotchety old person one day. Their life has somehow caused them to become that way, and for some reason, they allowed it to stick.

I want to also fill you in on something else. I have a friend who makes incredible music.
Wait. Back up.
Music: The art or science of combining vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion.
Now let me say that again. I’m not talking the crap music that sells and gets played on radio stations. He makes beautiful music. He makes music that speaks to your soul. I have several times been sitting in a coffee shop listening to him play, and before I know it tears form in my eyes. His music is so honest and passionate.

And I can’t help but but believe that ALL of this is connected. Music and people and stories and worries and fears and aging and art and love. It’s all connected. We are all connected. This beautiful, dreadful, testing, freeing, and sometimes lonely life is all connected to everything else. It all stems from one thing. A creator. THE Creator. Seeing beauty in other people, hearing passion in music, it’s all God. God is all that is good. So in all good things there is a piece of God. In each smile, there is a glimpse of God. In each beautiful melody, there is a glimpse of God. In each hug, there is a glimpse of God. In each reconciling conversation, there is a glimpse of God. He’s so present among us, and it’s SO ridiculous how often we take His Presence for granted. I do it every day. Every sunset is a picture of God’s peace and majesty. Every sunrise is a reminder of His grace; His second chances.

We’ve been told over and over that we’re unique. And it’s true. We are. But so many times we let that go to our head and we try to figure out how we can show everyone how we’re unique. We find ways to slip it into conversations, we try to express it though what we wear, we try to make a living by capitalizing on each unique quality. But what if we grasped the fact that we’re only unique because of how God made us and intended us to impact the world? What if it wasn’t something we wanted to show off and get compliments on, but instead we thought of ways to use it to better this world and the people around us, and give all the glory (compliments) we receive to the Lord?

I love everybody’s uniqueness. I love how this old man bites his bottom lip as he reads the newspaper, I love this ladies’ red hair, I love that this other old man is wearing glasses that look like hand-me-downs from John Denver back in the day. Everyone is so unique in their own ways. It’s what makes life so darn interesting. And what’s really cool is how God was so intentional about it all. He wanted me to have blue eyes, freckles, white skin, and little ears. He wanted me to like country music and trucks and hunting and lace and the color yellow and daisies and fall. He wanted me to have an obnoxiously loud laugh. He loves all of those things about me. Even the things I don’t like about myself, He intended for me. And I am going to begin praying that He would show me why He intended those things for me.

I like to think of it as a big puzzle. Maybe everybody’s unique puzzle piece fits together to form one big picture. My unique gift can help you and your unique gift can help me, and then our unique gift can help the next person, and it just keeps fitting together more and more.
…..Anyway, it’s a great thought.
Try to intentionally seek out other peoples’ unique qualities, and in the mean time, try to find ways that you can use your unique qualities to help someone else. And ask God to show you why He gave you those little qualities that you don’t like about yourself. It may turn into a healing process that so many of us need.

And for the record, I can’t wait until all the pieces are reassembled and the full picture is revealed. 
If each piece is already this beautiful, I can’t imagine what they will look like together.

| The Awaken Project | Bigs and Littles

So this week has been great!
A Big Something has happened, and a lot of Little Somethings have happened.
Okay, so since this project is about enjoying the little things in life, I will first get the Big Something over with.

*BIG SOMETHING *
I finally own a vehicle!! WOOT WOOT! I bought a  ’94 Ford Bronco from my Aunt and Uncle this week, and boy is it a beast! And so pretty! Here is a picture for your enjoyment.

and now….. ontoooo… (drum roll please!)…

* THE LITTLE SOMETHINGS*

Well, seeing as it’s 12:30am on Sunday morning and I have to get up in less that 7 hours from now I will only put a couple of the Little Somethings from this week.

I just got back from Lyzzards  Lounge (a bar downtown) because a friend of mine was playing there tonight. I walked in, totally unsure of what to expect, handed my I.D. to the guy, and found a little place I could stand and not be in anybody’s way. haha. Comparing my wardrobe to the other girls in the bar, I’m pretty sure just about anyone could assume I am not familiar with “the bar scene.” While other girls were wearing high heels and low cut tops, there I stood in my moccasin style boots, jeans, and a Michigan sweatshirt. But whatev’s, it’s totally cool.
Anyway, the reason I came was to see my friend and his band play. They were so good. So so talented. But what I couldn’t stop thinking about was how awesome it was to see my friend playing in a bar, knowing how far he’s come the last few years that I’ve known him. It was so cool to see a guy up there, playing guitar in a bar, knowing this is the kind of place he used to go all the time and get drunk, and now he’s been sober for 3 years (I think that’s right) and is discovering more and more each day what it means to follow Jesus. I don’t know how to explain it. It was just so cool. Knowing how different he is now, and seeing him play in the kind of place that had such a hold on him. Seeing how Jesus can make such a difference in someone’s life. So yea, anyway. That was one little something.

The second little something I’ll share is much shorter.
I was sitting in the car with my mom, waiting while dad got sweet tea in McDonalds, and some high schoolers were having a car wash. Well, we’re talking, and all the sudden we hear this huge “EEEHHHHHHHHHH” (that was supposed to be the sound of a very large dump truck honking it’s horn) and this kid holding the car wash sign jumped and covered his head with his arms.
My mom and I found that pretty hysterical.

But… you probably had to be there. Sorry, sometimes I suck at telling good stories.
Actually, most the time I suck at telling good stores.

Okay, I’m really tired and am falling asleep. I will try to do the next Awaken Project post when I have more time and am fully awake. Thanks for reading though.

To Whom It May Concern

First of all, please look up “To Whom It May Concern” by The Civil Wars, and play it as you read this blog.

This song is beautiful, and it hits home with me.
I know I’m only twenty one, but I long for and ache for the day I realize I have found “the one.”
This may be a little girly sounding, but oh well, I’m sure you’ll get over it. And guys, if you’re reading this right now, I’m sure you can somewhat relate whether you’d admit it or not.

So I would like to use this time to write a little note to “whom it may concern.”
So bear with me. Or don’t. That’s fine too.

Hey Mister.
I think about you often. My mind sometimes wanders off and before I know it I’ve got our whole story made up in my mind.
I wonder about all sorts of things. When I’m gonna meet you, if I already have met you, if your hair is straight or curly, whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the center or if you methodically pinch the toothpaste up from the bottom. I, for one, squeeze the center. Hope you’re cool with that.
When I am around a certain elderly couple, I think about you and I being that age. I wonder what our life will have entailed and whether or not we will be one of those cute old couples that holds hands everywhere we go. I hope we will be.
I wonder what kind of clothes you will wear. I wonder if you will be a big sport fan, or if you’ll love the outdoors. All sorts of things. I can’t wait to go camping with you.
But most of all, I wonder how you pursue God, and how you will pursue me. I have a hard time believing that you are going to think I’m worth the time and effort to pursue me. I think that sometimes causes me to make it too easy for other guys to get my attention. I need to stop that. I need to start believing that I am worth energy, time, and maybe even a little perseverance.
I can’t wait to love God with you. I can’t wait to live a life filled with loving other people through God’s love, and seeing Him work through our lives together. I can’t wait to hear you talk about God and how much He means to you. I look forward to seeing the look on your face when we have serious conversations about God and Christianity and Jesus and doubts and questions. And I look forward to seeing joy light up your eyes as we count our blessings and as God uses us and works in our lives.
I can’t wait to do this Jesus thing with you.
I can’t wait to have you wrap your arms around me, and know 100% that I will always have someone who will be there for me.
I look forward to all the adventures life will throw at us.

I pray for you often and look forward to the day we meet.
Bethany

 

I’ve missed you, but I haven’t met you
Oh how I’ve missed you, but I haven’t met you
Oh, but I want to
Oh, but I want to
Dear whoever you may be
I’m still waiting patiently